The Expression of Sight.
19 years! For 19 years, my brain had been at a permanent haul. Breathing like the multitude, speaking like the mass, walking like the herd, dancing, singing, fighting, drawing, writing, running and even loving like someone. Who? That’s the question that’s left unanswered. Since the day you’re born, your brain is being forced to believe the notions of how it’s going to work “around here”.
Our minds are extremely smart entities, tainted by what’s “real”. Our imperfections are what makes us one of a kind. We, the smartest foolish mortals, somehow manage to mold these imperfect perfections into instruments that unlocks the deepest dungeons in ourselves and unleashes our darkest demons. The most wide-spreading and dangerous disease faced by this beautiful mix of human mortals is his own internal demons and barriers. He suffers the worst pangs of self- loathing, tears of misery, stabs of rage, bitterness of self-critique and contempt in the pit of the heart. It hollows you and deforms you into a state of abhorrence. But, there’s pain that uses you and there’s pain that you use.
We, as we’re brought into being, find comfort in following footsteps. We follow the person who decided to draw up his own journey. We’re comic creatures made of dust who are not to outline the archetype but to illustrate their own great path. We see a black sheep and we are recalled of our kindergarten brainwashing and make steady assumptions. A black sheep is different from the entire herd and different is something that leaves us perspiring. Different horrifies us. Because, different, contradicts us and leaves us fetching for our insecurities and coming to blows with the reality of contrasting individuals who dare to differ and to conflict for what they stand.
Learn from the history but never walk in the same footsteps because if they had done everything right, would there have been a war? It’s history that’s formed racism, it’s history that built walls, it’s history that deployed the explosives of insecurity, greed, ego and opportunism. These are man-made concepts. We’re not to keep the historical business running, we must correct what they did wrong if we are to coexist for long and who better than our generation to understand how quickly situations flip. We’re stuck in a time loop goaled towards destruction. Destruct to win is the new motto of the peace corps of the world. A war that is won with love and respect is pure and complete. A war that requires ammunition and ego play in the name of “service for the nation”, a glorified term for bloodshed and barbarism, is incomplete.
We were born sane to be driven to insanity. You’re not caged that you need consent to act. Make your own book. Live, explore, wonder, love, laugh and appreciate. Don’t belong where you don’t, like a ghost stuck in a mirror in the world of mortals. Shatter the walls and widen the image. You hold the power of the universe, you’re only to look within. You were not born in this magical universe for naught, discover yourself but love yourself first. When there’s one power pulling you upwards, there’s a million other alternate forces intimidating you, pulling you down. We are so heavily rooted into the dark soil of pessimism that the only thing that is strong and capable enough to keep you up is you.
Pessimism is thoroughly rooted into us mortals. We have strengthened the tendency to take things for the worse as a part of our routine. It is an ancient practice. Hundreds of wars were won because we took things for the worse. But, the fact that those wars were fought is a result of painfully backward and irrational thinking. We are hard-wired to believe the severe implications of any situation. Rather than taking in the good someone is offering, we build a wall convincing ourselves of a flipside. Losing more power to the evil in us gets us to spread that evil and the people who still mean well are defeated. Consider everything you’re afraid of or everything that you don’t consider routine once more and question yourself. Everything and everyone is treatable with love and respect.
You are never alone, you always have yourself and that is the finest company one can possibly achieve. What you’re capable of achieving yourself, no one can fetch for you because only you are capable of diving into the deepest oceans of your mind and scraping out wisdom and answers. Everything that you seek is already within.
Inside your mind, it’s only you, it’s just you and no one else, and it’s your safest space to get as vulnerable as you would want because it is just you. Nobody but you inside that head. You can jump into the darkest of oceans or climb onto the most beautiful mountains inside your head. Acknowledge every thought but choose what you’re going to ponder on. You don’t have to feel ashamed of a thought, ever. It’s in your head and it’s your thought. Your mind has the energy to take you through to all the possibilities but it’s you who decides which way to head. Nobody is capable of loving, recognizing, understanding and appreciating you like you yourself.
What’s real may seem to differ from our own reality which gives passage to reality being molded on our terms. Your outlook holds the power to make or break you. The possibilities at play are sometimes bigger than us and from the places we put our comfort in. Giving way to our personalized realities is where we give power to wrong side of the war. Think louder. Think wider. Empathize and love. Don’t react, respond. Be the black sheep. Life is a precious gift with only time as a limitation, live in the present because what’s passed shouldn’t be dwelled upon, it must teach you and motivate you every single day with every single breath.
SHREYAS NARAIN TYAGI
